40 Days for Life started 5 days ago. It’s goal is to get Christians to pray and fast so that God might bring abortion to an end. I went and prayed in front of the Planned Parenthood in Riverside on Friday. That was day 3 of the 40 days and there at already been 3 saves at that specific facility. What a blessing to hear! All in all, over the five day period, nationwide there have been 33 confirmed saved lives. God is good and I beg you to get out in front of a nearby abortion facility and pray for this horrible thing to end.

To be sick at home is such a wonderful thing…it consists of 7up and movies galore, whatever I might want from the store, and a mommy to look after me…but to be sick at school is just plain lonely, the only thing that makes me happy is the dragon that watches over me at night.

“With-ness: that is all friendship wants. That is joy, because it is the image of what ultimate reality is if Tolkien’s Christian faith is true. The pagan mystic may seek his joy in the flight of alone to the Alone, but not the Christian. For according to that faith, the trinitarian God Who is not alone made man in His own image and declared that ‘it is not good for man to be alone’, even in ruin” (211).

The Philosophy of Kreeft by Peter Kreeft

…that I would shed tears for them.

I just discovered that Mill’s Utiltarianism (the view that every decision should be to maximize the aggregate total of pleasure minus pain) leads to the abuse of children, the abuse of the mentally disabled, and the abuse of those who are deemed incompetent. It is one reason why abortion is now legal. I also came to the full realization that our country has slowly fallen into this thinking and the result has been innumerable deaths and abuse to the innocent. And yet what am I to do about it? I am no genious. I am no Wilberforce. I cannot save the world. But something must be done…

O! Wanderers in the shadowed land
despair not! For though dark they stand,
all woods there be must end at last,
and see the open sun go past:
the setting sun, the rising sun,
the day’s end, or the day begun.
For east and west all woods must fail…

Over the past month it has taken me a while to get from: “God comfort me” to “God teach me.” I think I am finally at that point where I can begin to learn and grow and through Christ, become more like Him. I was reading Proverbs 31 today. It is a little discouraging to see how much I fail at being a potential “excellent wife” (31:10). But I have made a list of all the qualities that should be in a wife based on Proverbs 31. Although I will often fail as an “excellent wife,” at least I can strive to be one.

A woman/wife should:

1. Be trustworthy and faithful to her husband. (Not full of lies, not inappropriate with other men, flirts only with her husband, can be trusted to take care of the children and household while he is away).

2. be good to her husband and not evil. (Treats him like a prince, does not lash out in anger, is selfless, submits to her husbands authority, i.e does not demand control of every decision and situation, takes care of the household for his benifit).

3. Work in delight (Has a servants heart, does not complain, works for the Lord and not for men).

4. Be enterprising. (Always willing to take on something new, creative, willing to learn).

5. Rise in the night. (Willing to do whatever it takes in an emergency or crises, is not lazy, takes care of the needs of her household not matter what the cost).

6. Use sound judgement. (Buys only based on need and through sound judgement on what will be most profitable, works to make earnings for her household).

7. Be strong. (Does not let emotions get in the way of reason, has the ability to take on more tasks when needed).

8. Help pay the bills. (Works within the household to help make ends meet, keeps up the appearance of the home).

9. Be hospitable. (Welcomes friends and strangers into her house. Takes care of the needy, gives with sound judgement).

10. Have dignity. (Worthy of respect, known for her hospitality and kindness).

11. Smile on the future. (Is free from worry, trusts in the Lord).

12. Be a good teacher. (Is wise with her words, teaches kindness to others, teaches Christ to her children).

13. Be praiseworthy. (Is praised by her family because she has excelled in her role as a wife. mother, and woman of God).

14. Fear the Lord. (Reveres God, submits to God’s authority, walks in God’s path of righteousness).

This list is a little overwhelming. In fact, when I begin to look inside myself at every sin I deal with, omission included, I get overwhelmed. But I know that God is working in me. He is doing a good work in me, making me into a “Little Christ”, a “Christ Child.”

While this storm is a blowing

I’ll trust in you God

I will not let my heart despair

For I know that You do care

“God, I let you have control of my life for one summer and all I got was pain and hurt. It seems to me that I can do a better job handling my own life”.  Although I have never said this to God, this is exactly what I was saying by worrying constantly and being unsatisfied with my recently made decision.  I never quite undertood this passage until now.

1 Peter 5:6-7 — “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you”.

I never understood what giving up your worries had to do with humbling yourself. But now I understand. Worrying is the same as not trusting God, it is also, not recognizing our constant and continual need for God. If I am not trusting God then I am saying, you can’t handle things as well as I can. Thus putting ourselves on an equal or higher level than God. Not recognizing our need for God is again saying, I can handle things on my own. It is not until we realize how deprived we are without God that we are able to trust Him and cast all our anxieties upon Him. We cannot be truly humble until we do so. We also cannot be truly free from the chains of anxiety either.

Most people would probably not consider me to be a prideful person. At least, when I mentioned I was reading a book called “Humility” by CJ Mahaney, her response was “Sarah! I never thought that was something you struggled with!” The reason she thought that is because often times we only associate pride with thinking of yourself as higher than others, and that is what it is. But often times we forget about the sins that are rooted in pride. Vanity, selfishness, gossip, self-righteousness anger, jealousy, envy, and slander are rooted in pride. Pride was the first sin and the root of all sins. Or at least, a lot of them.

So how to do we conquer pride? It seems to be the hardest sin to defeat. As I have been reading CJ Mahaney’s book I have realized a few things.

First, I don’t really care for his writing style but he does a good job of defining pride. “Pride is when sinful human beings aspire to the status and position of God and refuse to acknowlede their dependence upon HIm.” When we slandor or gossip about another person, not only are we saying, I am better than you, we are also saying, I understand this situation and can judge this person in the same way God does. We are contending for His supremacy as Mahaney puts it. So one way to conquer pride is to realize that in being prideful we are putting ourselves on an equal level with God. This may help scare us away.

Second, to become less prideful, we should become a slave to everyone. Be willing to do the dirty work. Don’t complain. Become the servant of all. That is what God calls us to be and in doing so, it puts us in our rightful place, a place of humility.

The third chapter, however, I think hits it right on. While all these previous things are good. They are not foundational in conquering the sin of pride. If we, as Christians, want to conquer any sin, we have to first make our foundation Christ. We have to grow closer to Him. The closer we grow to him, the more like Him we become, and the more like Him we become, the less and less we will desire to sin.

We have to spend time with Christ every day…He should be at the back of our minds every second. The more we grow closer to Him, the more we become dependent on Him. We begin to realize how much we need Him. We begin to desire to be with Him continually. When we realize our unceasing need for Christ, there is no longer any room for pride. Someone who is prideful cannot be dependent on someone else, they are too good for that. So while I don’t really have many practical tips for overcoming pride, I do say this. Follow Christ…He is the only one who can help you overcome giving in to temptations.

This past summer I knew God was teaching me patience and to wait on Him. And I did. I prayed daily concerning my relationship with Matt. Waiting for Him to tell me what I needed to do. And when He told me, I neglectfully said good-bye. This was not easy. Apparently, that lesson in patience is not over. Another few months of patience and waiting are likely to occur again in the next few months. I guess I always thought that once you had learned the lesson, you would never have to deal with that sort of trial again. What I forgot is that the reason God teaches us things is so that we can continue to do them. The reason He taught me patience was so that I would know how to be patient in the future. So once again, I get to wait on God. I guess it all boils down to trust. If I would just trust God with my life, I wouldn’t have a problem with waiting quietly. So God, show me how to trust you. This is way too hard to bear.